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This discursive psychology study examines identity and help\u2010seeking in social interaction. We analysed 200 calls classified by police call\u2010takers as family harm using conversation analysis and membership categorization analysis. We found that callers oriented to a locally generated identity category \u2018the one who called police\u2019 as problematic. Callers sought anonymity or proposed cover stories to avoid being identified by others. Anonymity raised practical problems for recording callers' names and cover stories raised questions about the legitimacy of alternative accounts for police contact. We found callers' concerns with being identified create a dilemma produced through competing moral judgements tied to coexisting institutional and relational identity categories. Participants display understandings that calling the police may be the right thing to do as a help\u2010seeker, but the wrong thing to do as a friend or family member. Our findings reveal how a locally generated identity category was observable as a force shaping help\u2010seeking in real\u2010time high\u2010stakes encounters.<\/jats:p>","DOI":"10.1111\/bjso.12839","type":"journal-article","created":{"date-parts":[[2024,12,14]],"date-time":"2024-12-14T12:09:57Z","timestamp":1734178197000},"update-policy":"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1002\/crossmark_policy","source":"Crossref","is-referenced-by-count":4,"title":["Identity categories and the dilemma of calling police about family violence"],"prefix":"10.1111","volume":"64","author":[{"ORCID":"https:\/\/orcid.org\/0000-0002-6771-2948","authenticated-orcid":false,"given":"Emma","family":"Tennent","sequence":"first","affiliation":[{"name":"Te Herenga Waka Victoria University of Wellington  Wellington New Zealand"}],"role":[{"vocabulary":"crossref","role":"author"}]},{"ORCID":"https:\/\/orcid.org\/0000-0002-0298-6681","authenticated-orcid":false,"given":"Ann","family":"Weatherall","sequence":"additional","affiliation":[{"name":"University of Bedfordshire  Luton UK"}],"role":[{"vocabulary":"crossref","role":"author"}]}],"member":"311","published-online":{"date-parts":[[2024,12,14]]},"reference":[{"key":"e_1_2_9_2_1","first-page":"92","volume-title":"Domestic violence against men and boys: Experiences of male victims of intimate partner violence","author":"Bates E. 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