{"status":"ok","message-type":"work","message-version":"1.0.0","message":{"indexed":{"date-parts":[[2026,9,25]],"date-time":"2026-09-25T05:59:51Z","timestamp":1790315991755,"version":"4.1.0"},"reference-count":42,"publisher":"Wiley","issue":"3","license":[{"start":{"date-parts":[[2026,8,13]],"date-time":"2026-08-13T00:00:00Z","timestamp":1786579200000},"content-version":"vor","delay-in-days":0,"URL":"http:\/\/onlinelibrary.wiley.com\/termsAndConditions#vor"},{"start":{"date-parts":[[2026,8,13]],"date-time":"2026-08-13T00:00:00Z","timestamp":1786579200000},"content-version":"tdm","delay-in-days":0,"URL":"http:\/\/doi.wiley.com\/10.1002\/tdm_license_1.1"}],"content-domain":{"domain":["onlinelibrary.wiley.com"],"crossmark-restriction":true},"short-container-title":["Family Process"],"published-print":{"date-parts":[[2026,9]]},"abstract":"<jats:title>ABSTRACT<\/jats:title>\n                  <jats:p>Couples in conflict often become trapped in recursive cycles of complaint and defensiveness, leading to demoralization and disconnection. This is a problem for the couple and the therapist. This paper offers the idea that when couples engage in conflict, it is often a response to not being able to connect or feel understood, empowered, and supported in their values. Couples' complaints show up directly and indirectly: they complain directly with words and indirectly with distressed emotion, behavior, and physiological dysregulation. To enable the therapist to help the couple interrupt the conflict and form a working alliance around a shared goal, we propose that therapist identify a relational need that resonates with each partner. The couple impasse creates urgency for these relational needs to be met, at the same time that it prevents the couple from meeting them. This paper offers a way to maintain engagement and direction when couple conflict threatens the couple bond and can disempower the therapist.<\/jats:p>","DOI":"10.1111\/famp.70186","type":"journal-article","created":{"date-parts":[[2026,8,14]],"date-time":"2026-08-14T01:47:54Z","timestamp":1786672074000},"update-policy":"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1002\/crossmark_policy","source":"Crossref","is-referenced-by-count":0,"title":["\u201cWhat Are You Fighting for?\u201d Working With Couples in Conflict"],"prefix":"10.1111","volume":"65","author":[{"ORCID":"https:\/\/orcid.org\/0000-0002-9676-2696","authenticated-orcid":false,"given":"Carol","family":"Becker","sequence":"first","affiliation":[{"name":"Private Practice  Boston Massachusetts USA"}],"role":[{"vocabulary":"crossref","role":"author"}]},{"given":"John","family":"Sargent","sequence":"additional","affiliation":[{"name":"Tufts University School of Medicine  Boston Massachusetts USA"}],"role":[{"vocabulary":"crossref","role":"author"}]}],"member":"311","published-online":{"date-parts":[[2026,8,13]]},"reference":[{"key":"e_1_2_7_2_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1111\/j.1545\u20105300.1988.00371.x"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_3_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1037\/cfp0000002"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_4_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1300\/J086v07n01_14"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_5_1","volume-title":"Between Give and Take: A Clinical Guide to Contextual Therapy","author":"Boszormenyi\u2010Nagy I.","year":"1986"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_6_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.3316\/informit.793401732314360"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_7_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1002\/crq.3900130408"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_8_1","first-page":"33","volume-title":"Enhancing Couples: The Shape of Couple Therapy to Come","author":"Christensen A.","year":"2010"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_9_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1111\/j.1545\u20105300.1986.00207.x"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_10_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1111\/famp.12018"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_11_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1111\/j.1545\u20105300.2007.00219.x"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_12_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1111\/j.1545\u20105300.2011.01364.x"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_13_1","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1111\/famp.12861"},{"issue":"4","key":"e_1_2_7_14_1","first-page":"1","article-title":"Explorations of the Absent but Implicit","author":"Freedman J.","year":"2012","journal-title":"International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work"},{"issue":"1","key":"e_1_2_7_15_1","first-page":"1","article-title":"Witnessing and Positioning: Structuring Narrative Therapy With Families and Couples","author":"Freedman J.","year":"2014","journal-title":"International Journal of Narrative Therapy and Community Work"},{"key":"e_1_2_7_16_1","volume-title":"The High Conflict Couple: A Dialectical Behavior Therapy Guide to Finding Peace, Intimacy, and Validation","author":"Fruzzetti A. 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