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Revisiting the concept of pure relationships by Anthony Giddens, we analysed eight deep interviews with persons who claim their relationship with the gamer had ended or turned downhill due to the volume of the gaming. The study formulates a conception of the clashes of interest in areas of (1) situational clashes in everyday choreography, (2) shifts in long view prioritizing, (3) deficient communication and (4) understandings of self and autonomy in relation to gaming and relationship. These conceptual paths serve to understand the problems from a sociological perspective. On a more general level, the study demonstrates the timeliness in devoting attention to the premises under which intimacy and commitment are negotiated in offline and online relationship constellations.<\/jats:p>","DOI":"10.1177\/1461444816636091","type":"journal-article","created":{"date-parts":[[2016,3,9]],"date-time":"2016-03-09T21:23:54Z","timestamp":1457558634000},"page":"1710-1726","update-policy":"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1177\/sage-journals-update-policy","source":"Crossref","is-referenced-by-count":4,"title":["\u2018Present yet absent\u2019: Negotiating commitment and intimacy in life with an excessive online role gamer"],"prefix":"10.1177","volume":"19","author":[{"given":"Matilda","family":"Hellman","sequence":"first","affiliation":[{"name":"University of Tampere, Finland; University of Helsinki, Finland"},{"name":"University of Helsinki, Finland"}]},{"given":"Salla-Maria","family":"Karjalainen","sequence":"additional","affiliation":[{"name":"University of Helsinki, Finland"}]},{"given":"Maija","family":"Majam\u00e4ki","sequence":"additional","affiliation":[{"name":"University of Helsinki, Finland"}]}],"member":"179","published-online":{"date-parts":[[2016,3,9]]},"reference":[{"key":"bibr1-1461444816636091","doi-asserted-by":"publisher","DOI":"10.1080\/00222216.2012.11950252"},{"key":"bibr2-1461444816636091","first-page":"23","volume-title":"Multiplayer: The Social Aspects of Digital Gaming","author":"Bartle RA","year":"2014"},{"key":"bibr3-1461444816636091","volume-title":"Habits of the Heart: Individualism and Commitment in American Life","author":"Bellah RN","year":"1985"},{"key":"bibr4-1461444816636091","unstructured":"Borch A (2013) Households\u2019 images of gambling. 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