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While the gravity of many forms of disrespect and abuse is evident, some of its more subtle forms may not always be experienced as upsetting by women. This study examines (1) how often women experience disrespect and abuse during labour and birth in the Netherlands and (2) how frequently they consider such experiences upsetting. We also examine (3) which respondent characteristics (age, ethnicity, educational level and parity) are associated with those experiences of disrespect and abuse that are upsetting, and (4) the associations between upsetting experiences of disrespect and abuse, and women\u2019s labour and birth experiences.<\/jats:p><\/jats:sec><jats:sec><jats:title>Methods<\/jats:title><jats:p>Women who gave birth up to five years ago were recruited through social media platforms to participate in an online survey. The survey consisted of 37 questions about experiences of disrespect and abuse divided into seven categories, dichotomised in (1) not experienced, or experienced but not considered upsetting (2) experienced and considered upsetting. A multivariable logistic regression analysis was performed to examine associated characteristics with upsetting experiences of disrespect and abuse. A Chi-square test was used to investigate the association between upsetting experiences of disrespect and abuse and overall birth experience.<\/jats:p><\/jats:sec><jats:sec><jats:title>Results<\/jats:title><jats:p>13,359 respondents started the questionnaire, of whom 12,239 met the inclusion and exclusion criteria. Disrespect and abuse in terms of \u2018lack of choices\u2019 (39.8%) was reported most, followed by \u2018lack of communication\u2019 (29.9%), \u2018lack of support\u2019 (21.3%) and \u2018harsh or rough treatment\/physical violence\u2019 (21.1%). Large variation was found in how frequently certain types of disrespect and abuse were considered upsetting, with 36.3% of women experiencing at least one situation of disrespect and abuse as upsetting. Primiparity and a migrant background were risk factors for experiencing upsetting disrespect and abuse in all categories. Experiencing more categories of upsetting disrespect and abuse was found to be associated with a more negative birth experience.<\/jats:p><\/jats:sec><jats:sec><jats:title>Conclusions<\/jats:title><jats:p>Disrespectful and abusive experiences during labour and birth are reported regularly in the Netherlands, and are often (but not always) experienced as upsetting. This emphasizes an urgent need to implement respectful maternity care, even in high income countries.<\/jats:p><\/jats:sec>","DOI":"10.1186\/s12978-022-01460-4","type":"journal-article","created":{"date-parts":[[2022,7,8]],"date-time":"2022-07-08T14:03:37Z","timestamp":1657289017000},"update-policy":"https:\/\/doi.org\/10.1007\/springer_crossmark_policy","source":"Crossref","is-referenced-by-count":51,"title":["Disrespect and abuse during labour and birth amongst 12,239 women in the Netherlands: a national survey"],"prefix":"10.1186","volume":"19","author":[{"ORCID":"https:\/\/orcid.org\/0000-0002-5291-5988","authenticated-orcid":false,"given":"Marit S. G.","family":"van der Pijl","sequence":"first","affiliation":[],"role":[{"vocabulary":"crossref","role":"author"}]},{"given":"Corine J. 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